


Happy Pie Day!

by BlueExorcist_Is_My_Main_Fandom



Series: Justice Cracks (Written by Sister) [3]
Category: Smallville
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-18 04:04:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18112916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueExorcist_Is_My_Main_Fandom/pseuds/BlueExorcist_Is_My_Main_Fandom
Summary: Oliver gets back from patrol one evening to find his loft in shambles once again. What has his team managed to do this time, and why is Lex involved?





	Happy Pie Day!

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer! This was written by my sister, not me. I am only posting it for her so that other people can read it. We hope you enjoy!

Oliver supposed he only had himself to blame. In retrospect, giving Bart a credit card and no limitations was a colossally bad idea and he should have known better. Of course, all he knew at the time was that he was late for an important board meeting, Bart was hungry, and the other guys had no ability to prepare food. How simply the disaster had started…

Oliver rotated his aching right shoulder again, wondering if he should convince Clark to look at it. It hurt more than it had any right to, though he was sure continuing to draw his bow while injured hadn’t helped. 

It had been a tough patrol and he was looking forward to getting out of his uniform and having a hot shower as he landed easily on his balcony. He lowered his hood and pulled off his sunglasses, then opened the door to his loft and stepped into chaos.

Shouts filled the air. People ran back and forth and ducked behind whatever cover they could find. Before Oliver could fully register what was going on, someone shouted, “Look out!” and an object came flying at his face.

Without thinking, he raised his bow, nocked an arrow, and sighted on the edge of the circular object. He loosed the arrow and pinned the thing to the floor, neatly spitted off-center. All motion had ceased, he noted vaguely, still staring at what he had shot: a perfectly ordinary apple pie.

He looked up, saw that his house and team mates were splattered with the remains of more pies, and put on his most intimidating murder face.

“Someone explain,” he said flatly. AC shifted uneasily, Victor stared at the floor, Clark smiled sheepishly, and Bart rubbed the back of his neck.

“Um, it’s Pie Day?” he said, making the words more a hopeful question than an answer. Oliver raised an eyebrow. Bart flushed and fidgeted. “Well, um…” He looked around for help, found none, and then tried an adorable innocent smile. “We have more pie!”

Oliver rolled his eyes. “I’ll interrogate you more thoroughly later. Get this cleaned up and don’t cause any more trouble,” he ordered and retrieved his arrow.

Oliver meant to take his shower now that he was out of his gear, but there was another surprise waiting in his room: Lex Luthor, splattered with pie like the others, but knocked out and covered with duct tape, wedged on top of the dresser. Oliver stared at him for a long, wordless moment.

“Don’t wander off,” he muttered and went to take his shower, rubbing his forehead.

When he came out, Lex was gone. Oliver wondered if he was just losing his mind and hallucinating but decided it didn’t matter. Maybe it would help deal with his team mates, who were acting with increasing senselessness lately. 

Still, he mused, they had cleaned up all the pie with gratifying swiftness. He found them in the kitchen and had to suppress a sigh, because Lex was sitting at the table with an ice pack on his head.

“Okay, guys, let’s start with something simple,” he said, sitting down. “What is Pie Day?”

“March 14th,” Bart replied instantly, looking excited. He still had fragments of pie in his hair and he was hugging Sir Cumference the stuffed octopus. 

“3.14, the decimal form of pi,” Clark continued, when it became clear Bart thought he had explained enough. “It all started when I went with Bart to grab some groceries while you were gone. We ran into Lex there and he mentioned it was Pie Day. Bart got really excited and insisted that we have some to celebrate.” Clark paused, looking apologetic. “I swear, I only left for a few minutes, just to ask my mom if she would make a pie for Bart, since he wanted it so much. I wasn’t gone for more than ten minutes, but when I got back, Bart was in the middle of checking out with every pie that was for sale.”

There was a round of snickers. “Must have been about fifty pies,” Victor said, looking pleased. “Naturally, I helped them bring all forty of them back here,” Lex said, smirking a little.

Oliver nodded. He was beginning to understand what had happened. Bart gasped like an idea had just come to him and blurred around the kitchen for a second or two. “Here, Ollie! I saved you this!” he exclaimed, sliding a plate in front of Oliver. Unsurprisingly, it contained pie.

“Thanks, Bart,” he said with some sincerity and took a bite. “Did you manage to eat any of it?” he asked, to get the narrative back on track.

“Sure, we were wondering if the chocolate pie would get Bart on a sugar rush,” AC said, grinning.

Oliver dropped his fork. “You what? Do you have any idea how dangerous that could be for Bart? If you alter the rate of acceleration in his cells, he could just vibrate apart! You could have killed him!”

“Calm down, Ollie,” Bart said nervously, hugging Sir Cumference.

“It didn’t make him hyper anyway,” Victor said. “He passed out snoring on the table.”

All the guys laughed, and Bart protested it wasn’t funny. Oliver stored the information away for later thought.

“Guys, settle down. I only have one question left. How did Lex end up in my room?”

Victor squirmed uncomfortably. “I didn’t mean to do all that. He tripped on the coffee table and knocked himself out. I went to put him somewhere he wouldn’t get stepped on and kind of lost my head.” He looked at Lex. “Sorry, man.”

“No problem. I wake up in restraints about half the time anyway,” Lex replied, smirking again.

“Okay, then. Maybe we can stay out of trouble for a while now,” Oliver said. “Next time you feel like doing something crazy, take it outside.” He fixed them one-by-one with a firm stare. Pleased he had gotten to the bottom of it, he turned his attention to his pie. “Now, give me back my credit card, Bart.”

“But, Ollie-!”


End file.
